“Working with Eric was a pleasure. We developed a good rapport and established a level of honesty and trust. I valued his counsel and recommendations. I find Eric to be very competent in a variety of disciplines. He is able to correctly diagnose organizational problems and suggest solutions that are on point. I found Eric to be a professional with the highest levels of honesty, integrity, and ethical behavior. I would not hesitate to engage his services again in the future.”
Kathy Lueckert,
former Corporate Services Director,
Department of Planning and Development,
City of Seattle
(Kathy is now Director of Planning and Finance for Advocacy and Communications at World Vision.)
“I've worked closely with Eric on developing and presenting the Leadership Eastside community leadership program. He has that rare blend of extensive real-world experience along with a very strong background in theory and research. He moves easily between big picture strategy and the tactical details. Eric brings a superb ability to plan, execute and follow-through, both as a behind-the-scenes planner and as an upfront instructor and facilitator.”
Annalee Luhman,
founding board member,
Leadership Eastside
Conflict and change: The blog
6 March 2009
Seduced into convincing
Have you ever felt that you absolutely must convince someone of something? That you must do everything in your power to sway them—right now, in this moment? Ever had a time where failure is not an option?
If so, you’re in trouble. Big trouble. Not only are you no longer effective, you’ll find that further pushing will only damage the relationship and set you back.
Very few people will respond well to this kind of desperate appeal. I know they seem to in the movies, but it’s very rare in real life.
It’s like “going all in” in poker when you have a bad hand. You’re betting everything on very bad odds. It’s a sucker’s choice.
Some of the folks I’ve seen push too hard are the ones who had very little influence in the first place. It’s as if they are trying to become influential in one, fell swoop. It doesn’t happen that way!
When you feel that your only option is convincing, it means that there’s more you need to know about the situation, about the person you are trying to influence, what their needs and interests, and how they see you.
When you feel the need to convince, it’s time to pull back and reevaluate. Listen carefully to the messages you are receiving from the person or people you’re trying to convince. Look for the meaning underneath their words. Review what you know. Debrief with a trusted advisor.
And, most important of all, come up with a list of multiple approaches or tactics you can try. The more ideas you have, the less likely you’ll be to “bet the ranch” on forcing one to work.
© 2012 All Rights Reserved